Spitting to glory..................

The average Indian asks an interesting question to himself everyday - What would a few micromilligrams of human saliva do to spoil the health and hygiene of his city, town or village? Invariably, he finds that that his ‘little showers of blessings’ could do no harm to the hygienic condition, and so he goes on a spitting spree.
He spits right, he spits left, he spits centre, he spits at the road, he spits on the wall, he spits on the bus, he spits on the trains, he spits everywhere he can. This spitting habit of ours is actually an integral part of our illoustrous culture and heritage. We have been spitting in public places since time immemorial. We find opportunities to spit in almost all reasons and seasons.
Our ancestors hold the distinction of bringing colour to the spitting spree by inventing the betel leaf or paan, which changes the colour of the spitted discharge to a wonderful red, once chewed. So, our walls often have awesome designs which are the contribution of the paan chewing gentlemen of the country.
Remember, the great Amitabh Bachchan spitting to glory in the song ‘Khaike Paan Banaras Wala’ in the blockbuster ‘Don’? The sequence was such a hit with the masses that Shahrukh Khan repeated the sequence with more energy and vigour in Farhan Akhtar’s remake of the same film. There is a difference of almost 25 years between the two Dons, there are a lot of dissimilarities between the two as well, but spitting hasn’t gone out of fashion even today, has it? Spitting is also a way of upholding one’s prestige, in Desi lingua ‘Izzat’. Innumerable heroes have rejected the fortune offered by their lover’s father by saying – “Main thukta hoon tumhari daulat par” (I spit on your wealth). I wonder why the west don’t learn from us.
The other day, a blue line bus driver heaped at least a litre of litter on me from his mouth while driving his mean machine. Me, poor fellow, riding a rickety two wheeler did not have the courage to hit back at him.
After all, if a blue line bus driver lets you off by simply spitting at you, its not a bad deal at all, I thought. Having killed more than 100 people this year in Delhi, they are surely capable of doing much more damage. So, i quietly rushed back to my house and took an unwilling bath facing the winter chill.
Bad habits die hard, and mass bad habits such as this actually never die, so long live the spitting republic........................